So they say I’m getting old….
and so my time is limited in having children. But the last I looked, my body is still an engine that hasn’t burned out yet and I can usually keep up with those who are 10 years younger than or further back. But it shouldn’t stop me from believing what God said, and sometimes when that’s all you have, you can’t settle for medical reports and physical pain. Jesus didn’t.
But now I’m in the position to be tested on what I actually preach and would blog all day on. However, get a bad report and suffer silently, facing your fears and you’ll see how spiritual you won’t be when things get tough. However, it doesn’t diminish what God says or the fact He won’t make it happen.
To put it bluntly, my body is trying to get rid of fibroids in my womb…which function like a tumor (without the cancer thank goodness). However, it complicates my life based on losing energy and focus physically and otherwise. And to top it off, if I don’t get on meds or have a procedure to get them removed, I may not be able to have children. That’s not an option…but I wonder if my womb is like Jack Nicholson from A FEW GOOD MEN and screaming otherwise.
Good friends and well-meaning family keep bringing up: “you can always adopt”. Those are four words I never thought would haunt me…but I can’t help wondering if that what God wants, and I just injected my own flesh into what I think is a word, ya feel me?
I know I’ve had dreams, words, and been prophesied to, but I have been serving God and been a lover of His too long to assume I know how it all plays out. In fact, I don’t want to be offended when I contend and don’t see it from God’s perspective. I guess this is an invitation to come closer to Him…but make no mistake: whatever He says and whatever happens, I plan NOT to be afraid. Ever.
nicolegoesurban 